I've called this post a 'Acceptance' because for me that is one of my biggest challenges; accepting myself. I've decided that in the aftermath of a really tough day it's time do address these issues.
It was not that long ago when I would avoid having a shower or a bath because I couldn't stand to look at my body. Ive cried at my appearance a lot more times than I'd like to admit. I've felt so ashamed of my body for so long and for somebody so young (I'm 17) I feel as if I've really gone drastically wrong somewhere in order to be full of so much hate directed towards myself.
I've always felt like an outsider. I was always the biggest out of my friends, who admittedly now are abnormally skinny, I've always felt like I should be in someone else's body. Ive always been fascinated by Hollywood and celebrity culture that, I'll admit, I thought it was ugly to be anything but a US size 2. I know now, to a certain extent that this is no way true. But there's still a part of me that longs to look like Marisa Miller or Nicole Scherzinger. My body shape is entirely different to these two women (I'm 5ft5 for starters!) but I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be 100% happy - because I can't remember the last time i did that. Even on my prom night I felt that improvements could have been made.
I'm on a journey to becoming at one with myself and that means accepting who I am and what I look like. So far, being on the Tone It Up journey has helped massively and I do look at myself in the mirror now and think 'Wow, you're really starting to look a lot better'. And I do feel it too. However I can't help but think will I get there? Will I ever be happy with the way I look? I hope the answer is yes, but I am hesitant to believe that. I don't want to doubt myself but I think I've been used to it for so long that doubting myself is my acceptance be it wrong or right.
Im sorry that this post was quite sombre but I think I needed to get it off of my chest.
Thank you for reading it.
Georgia <3
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so mad it didn't go through the first time!
ReplyDeletejust wanted to thank you for writing this and being so open and honest. felt like you were reading my mind at some points. as sucky as it may be, it's refreshing to know we all go through periods of having trouble with self acceptance. you're only 17, feel fortunate that you've found this when you have and that you can (and will!) gain control over your weight and health at an early age. i'm 26 and still struggle daily, but for the first time feel like i've got the power to get it under control..with help from people like you. we're all here for each other and i promise if you ever need someone to reach out to i'm here. we're gonna do this!
ps - i promise you your skinny friends won't stay that way forever, trust me.
3 years on, almost to the day and I just want to say that this is a very touching post. Thank you for sharing - I stumbled upon your youtube videos recently and even though I have been watching Tone It Up for a few years, it was your videos that inspired me to buy myself the Nutrition Plan as a birthday present to myself last month. I am so glad that I have signed up - the TIU community is simply amazing and I am feeling so much better about myself already! Thank you, Georgia for being the person to give me that final push I needed to join the TIU community and give myself the kick up the bum I needed!
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