I have been living in Arizona, 5291 miles away from home and my boyfriend Aaron for almost a year. With two months before I'm home for good, I've become well versed in what makes for a successful long distance relationship. It hasn't been easy, but it also hasn't been difficult. There is an 8 hour time difference between AZ and the UK and we both definitely had to make some adjustments in order for our relationship to work almost half a world apart.
That being said, we're stronger than ever. Below are some of the things I felt have been crucial in order to build and maintain a successful long-distance relationship.
♡ Don't Count Down
If your situation is anything like me, you know you have a date when you're leaving. I made the mistake of counting down and I felt like I was saying "We need to make the most of it" for the whole summer before I left. This was a huge mistake, we were both under so much unnecessary pressure because of this looming deadline. When I was back in the UK over Christmas, Aaron and I took each day as it came and we certainly didn't count down to the day I was leaving and things were so much better between us. We really struggled before I left the first time and it is absolutely because of the pressure of the count down.
♡ Schedule Time Each Week to FaceTime/Skype
When I first arrived in Arizona, Aaron and I would send each other a text, seeing if the other were free and start FaceTiming. This worked to begin with but we soon found that when this time was scheduled in, it was something to look forward to and made the time go quicker. This worked for us more than the spontaneous sessions we would do to begin with because we knew we had time for us each week.
♡ Know What's Going On In Each Other's Lives
Stay involved. Know if there's something outside of the norm going on in each other's week. I love to know if Aaron has a new client (he's a Personal Trainer) or if he has a football game over the weekend because it makes me feel like I'm a still a part of things in his life. It's lovely to be able to talk and know about things that are going on with him. It works for him too because he get's to experience part of my world out here.
♡ Surprise Each Other
I love sending silly gifts to Aaron from the UK Amazon site, or another example would be that I have sent him a postcard from each place I have visited. As well as being fun, it lets him know that I'm thinking of him and that he still means as much to me here as he does at home.
♡ Make a Playlist
Before I left, I made Aaron a "Leaving Box" (see below) and a part of this was a playlist that we could both listen to. Time differences can be awful and I know for me that the evenings can be really lonely. Having the playlist to listen to at times like that can be a huge help but I also am reminded of so many amazing memories we have together when listening to different songs.
♡ Make a Leaving Box
Before coming to Arizona, as a surprise I put together a box of things that meant a lot to us. I put things like a DVD, Jelly Beans and photos. I also bought a cheap notebook and wrote a different reason why I love him on each page. Finally, I also included things that would remind him of me, like some perfume, in there.
♡ Trust One Another and Expect Things to Change
When I told Aaron I was writing this post, this was the one thing he told me to include.
Aaron and I had a conversation before I left, about whether or not we should continue our relationship whilst I was here and obviously, we decided to. Honour that commitment and trust one another even though you're apart. Do not be suspicious and be honest when things are hard.
Be patient. Things aren't going to be the same. Texting may not be as instantaneous as it was - especially if you're dealing with a time difference. You're going to be with other people and trying new things and you have to be ok with not being a part of what your partner is doing.
♡ Enjoy the Journey
I can't begin to describe how much stronger our relationship is since I moved out here. It's not been easy, in fact at times it has been quite hard. But we're learning every day and we're doing it every day. You'll discover things about yourself that you didn't know before and it is all part of the experience.
I hope this helps you embrace the change in your relationship, it has certainly worked for us.
Love Always,
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